I never made bread. I didn’t start exercising. And the only language I learned? Netflix’s passive
aggressive language, “Are you still watching?”
We may have been in my same boat. Our worlds turned upside down with little time to process the
major change to our day to day, careers, and income. My wife and I were hit with furlough the same
day. We didn’t account for this and found ourselves at a loss of what to do with this newfound free time. Truthfully, I saw it as a 3–6-month vacation.
Fast forward to today. The pandemic is over, I think. Masks are a faint memory, and the airports are
packed with passengers eager to travel. Literally anywhere. Did you know there is a town called
Lanzarote? Me either, but Delta flies there and the one daily flight is packed.
Hitting the magic rewind button.
In 2021, Know and Flow founder, Ellen (most brilliant human I know, connect with her!) shared her view
on pushing the rewind button and what she’d do differently. What resonates me most with her thought-
provoking points is the question I’m asking myself daily – How do you remember to act on your lessons
learned today?
I’m suffering from ‘Furlough dementia’ ….and living in the state of Forgetlough. I’ve forgotten what I
promised myself to ‘never forget’ and quickly fell back into my old habits, many that left me unfulfilled
in my career.
But there is hope, after all! Taking the time to write this article and reflect on those promises helped
reground my priorities and develop action plans as a result. Stick with me on this, it’s worth the read.
Promise #1 – Be compassionate, even when you don’t know how
According to Sara Shairer at the Chopra center, “Compassion takes empathy and sympathy a step
further. When you are compassionate, you feel the pain of another (i.e., empathy) or you recognize that
the person is in pain (i.e., sympathy), and then you do your best to alleviate the person’s suffering from
that situation.”
So…Action this!
- Take 2 seconds before reacting Let your brain catch up to your unconscious bias and then
respond. - Alleviate the persons suffering with what they need, not what you want to offer them.
- Compassion is not about YOU; it’s about the other individual.
Promise #2 – Don’t assume the intent of others
What your co-worker, your spouse, your manager said…take it for what it is. Too often we assume the
worst, get defensive and ruminate on what was told to us. It’s easy to create stories around ‘what they
actually meant’ and become unnecessarily anxious or worried as result.
So…Action this!
- Repeat what was said to yourself in a friendly tone. How quickly you’ll notice a difference.
- No matter what, don’t ruminate. Remove the emotion you may feel and listen to the facts of
what was said. - Clarify any buzz in your brain with the individual. Ask direct questions to be sure you are clear of
expectations.
Promise #3 – Slow down!
Stop multi-tasking and focus on one task at a time. Block time to think and build out a plan to
accomplish your more strategic goals. Its common myth humans don’t have long attention spans. We
are all guilty of ‘binging’ shows for hours; we have the mental capacity to focus for long periods of time.
It’s how we train our brain with reward base activities to achieve longevity in our focus.
So…Action this!
- Set a timer for no more than X minutes
- Reduce your notification distraction (phone, emails, watch, Social Media, Alexa’s…)
- Determine your reward in advance
Dalai Lama said it best: “If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy,
practice compassion.” -Dalai Lama
I challenge you to reflect on those promises you made years ago and if they still guide your days today.
Work to think of 1-3 small but meaningful steps you can take to fulfill the promises you made to
yourself.
Thanks for the post